Thursday, February 06, 2020

Life afterwards

Greetings, gentle readers.

It's been almost 4 years since I've posted here.

I haven't seen H in almost 4 years now and it's been >3 years since I've spoken with him.

It's been >5 years since H's car accident and massive head injury.

After his family sprung him from a facility against medical advice in 2016, I dropped all contact with H and his family.

During that time, H has lived on his own and has gotten into all manner of trouble with health issues, falling, melting 4 cell phones on the stove, inviting strangers in who he should not have invited, seizures, medication adherence, missing medical appointments, etc. Pretty much what you'd expect. Poor man.

Sadly, about two years ago, his family cut him off, accusing him of being an "addict" (pain medication) and finding him hard to deal with. Apparently, he picked fights with pretty much everyone. So he got a state-appointed guardian.

A few months ago, I was contacted by his guardian to assist with getting him into a group family home that would be a good fit for him. He's now in that group family home and I am glad for that.

He's called me at work multiple times (tracked me down) and left voicemails yelling, accusing me of stealing or giving away his things, like a white porcelain kitchen sponge holder in the shape of a whale or a specific pair of socks. I've blocked his number.

As for me, its taken a long while to clear out my head from 15+ years of caregiving and watching someone I love lose their mind and turn into a child-like caricature of themselves. Life during was hell.

But right now, I'm the happiest I've been in a very, very long time. In a relationship now with a great man and planning a future together...I am finally no longer a single man! I've got time and energy to pursue my passions too. Life afterwards is good.

For those of you that have travelled this bumpy road with me, thank you for your kind support. Your comments gave me both strength and hope. I found great solace in writing here, knowing that y'all were out there, listening, and following along.

God bless you for your caregiving work and the love that you've shown others in spite of the great cost to yourselves.

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