'Twas talking with my massage therapist, who's actually a spiritual teacher in some ways, about my decision to go back on anti-depressants.
I stopped drinking because I was not functional and now depression is getting the better of me so that I struggle to function, especially at work.
He suggested, "If you could focus on what H CAN do right now and be amazed at anything that he does...loading the dishwasher, folding any laundry, anything really...then maybe you wouldn't need anti-depressants."
At this point, I was beginning to grumble a bit in protest.
"You have a need for him to do particular things...things he used to do...and the fact that he can't is what makes you sad, depressed. Your expectations are what is making you sad. What if you didn't need him to do or be anything other than just what he is?"
Isn't that acceptance in its purest form?
Still seeing the doctor tomorrow, tho'.
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Musings, rants, heartaches, & commentary from a soon-to-be widower after 27 years with a wonderful man.
About Me
- A Single Man
- West Coast, United States
- Calendar says "middle-aged" gay guy in large metro area. Gardener, computer geek, artist, sweetheart, caregiver. Generally shy & reserved, except in print! Struggling to deal with my partner losing his mind and dying slowly from AIDS, my own stuff about aging while looking for meaning and fun through it all.
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3 comments:
Hi, long time reader, first time commenter here.
You should totally go see your doctor, but your massage herapist made some very good points there.
If I ask Sue to try and do three things in the few hours that I'm gone in the mornings and come home to find she has got one of them done I've found that if I let her know how much I appreciate her help it puts us both in better moods.
God Bless America, God Save The Republic.
I switched to Pristiq back in April. We upped it to 100mg to get thru putting my Mom in the nursing facility. 50mg is the starting dosage. It works great but I've noticed that if I miss a single dose, I get the "zings" in my head. (Those that have been on these drugs will know what I'm talking about.) With the Paxil I was on before, it would take at least a week of stopping the pills before I'd have the same withdrawal side effects. Just an FYI in case your doctor recommends Pristiq. It's a new drug...the ads on tv are with the wind-up doll.
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