Today is my birthday (and I'm getting shoes)

H has needed new shoes for some time now: tennis, casual, loafers, you name it. I've been trying to get H to the mall to buy shoes for some time, but he rarely feels well enough to do that. So, last week was H's birthday and I thought that we could get some shoes and go to dinner afterwards.

We walk into a high-end shoe store (famous name starts with N) and I tell the person working there, "We're here to get some shoes for my friend." We talk a bit about what kind of shoes we're looking for and show her some ideas: walking, casual, slip ons...etc. She disappears for awhile.

All the time she is gone, I'm talking with H about this shoe or that shoe, did he like it, does he care about the color, etc.

The clerk comes back and asks how H is doing today. And he says, "Today is my birthday. I'm 53 today." The clerk looks a bit puzzled and asks, "What are you doing to celebrate your birthday?" "Well," H says, "I'm getting some shoes and then we're going to dinner." Now I'm noticing how out of place he seems around adults who have good social skills. (Conversation here about where we are going to dinner.)

While we were sitting at the shoe place, he started complaining about his stomach, so I knew that dinner out was out of the question. So, we ordered in that night.

Later H confessed to me that he probably sounded silly...like someone who is "slow"...and he asked me if I was embarrased...no, not really. I told him that I usually am on a mission and just focus on doing that. "But, no, I'm not embarassed...you do what you do and I'm just trying to get the job done." But, yea, he did sound slow.

Later he told me that maybe he was so odd because I just took over the proceedings and I told him, "Not really. I got it started and tried to involve you in all of the choices, asking your opinion, etc. What you say & how you say it are entirely up to you. Besides, worse has happened, so no, I'm not embarassed."

Tired. Bored. Lonely. Distressed. Burned out. But not embarassed.