Tuesday, March 15, 2016


Gentle readers....

H has been in a nursing facility since September, 2014 subsequent to his car accident.

About two weeks ago, I got a call from the nursing facility that his family was taking him out of the facility and moving him into "an apartment." The nursing facility said that he was leaving AMA (Against Medical Advice) as their evaluation is that he needs 24 hour care...which H vehemently denies...and so does his family. I am legally unable to stop H from leaving the nursing facility.

The next day he had moved out into temporary housing in a "medical hotel," which provides temporary, independent housing through a local service organization for people with HIV.

I was not consulted and it was a surprise that he actually moved out. They wrangled to get me to take care of him for about a year and I repeatedly said NFW (no). So, they just moved him out.

H is elated as he has been "released from Hell" and now has his own room that is quiet. His family and some friends are all helping him (from what I can tell, about 6 - 8 people) get settled and get his care needs set up. The rub is, they don't understand the full extent of his needs...they are clueless that its taking 6 or so of them to help him, yet they don't understand why one person can't do it all, like I tried to for many years...even tho' I did have help.

So, today, there is much chatter about his medications. He takes (last count) 22 different meds a day and the total number of pills is about 50 a day. Someone has to order the meds, set them up...but they didn't think about that. They didn't ask me about this, nor did they plan ahead.

His family has supported him in his fantasy that he can live on his own, even though I didn't think he could for several years before the accident. And, so they have put him at great risk because H whined about how much he hated where he was.

This will likely not end well for him and that make me very sad. My plan is to help, but not rescue him...although part of me says, "just walk away." I haven't been able to do that for years...maybe now is the time to do it.

1 comment:

Elanor said...

just stopping by to see how things are going for you and H, sorry to hear this latest news. Its a long and lonely journey at times and one that only other carers can fully understand. take care.