How do you know when?

A very tough question that I hope none of you will ever have to answer: When do you put your ill loved one in a skilled nursing facility? I suppose that it's easier when they are obviously physically sick...like with pneumonia or KS. But what about when there are cognitive issues...when they're slowly losing their mind? When the person is no longer themselves? When they can't remember what happened yesterday and revise your joint history.

Hmmm, that's been true for awhile. When I can't deal with it any more? Hmmm, well past that point. So, where is that line?

A good friend of mine, J, says, "You're just not being selfish enough. 8 or 9 years is too long...why are you sacrificing your life to see that he has a good home?" Why indeed.

Another friend once told me, "All those who want you to leave him have just never been in love...love transcends inconveniences, pain, issues. Love means that you care for someone else's welfare more than your own."

All that's very well and good, but how do you know when?