Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Turkey snippets

Smokin' 'n' drinkin'
While I was in Europe last month, I decided to smoke and drink out on the town with my pals from work. I worried a bit about the drinking…if I had my first drink in 7+ months, would I be able to stop?...but all for naught. 'Twas a social thing only. During the day, no cravings; no cravings upon my return home. I could take or leave smoking on the road, but once I got home, I wanted to smoke more.

Down for a visit
Although I've only got one response from H's family to my status email, H will be heading South to visit many of them after Christmas. They are eager to see him and I'm glad that he wants to go. Also, gives me 2+ weeks of break, which I am grateful for.

All is calm
H is doing rather well physically right now. We'll know what his viral load is here in a few weeks. What's so odd is that he's stable right now and his spirits are good. In some ways, I don't know what to do with him when there isn't a health issue going. His dementia is still worsening tho'.

When I'm sick
Over the past several weeks, I've had two migraine headaches and also got a weird flu. H was good about this, as there was no way that I can keep up at home when I was that sick. He said, "Sheesh, even when you're sick, you don't get a break." I replied, "Yup, I know." And, to his credit, he asked me for nothing during my sick times.

Deteriorating in front of my eyes
One of H's sister lives in another state, not too far from his parents. Since this sister lives closest, she sees what is happening with his parents. Like most folks in their mid to late 70s, they have a myriad of health issues, but some dementia is beginning to creep in.

His sister said to me, "I can't believe it, I'm watching them deteriorate before my eyes…it's horrible (crying)." I told her that I understood as I'm watching H deteriorate as well. She asked me what she should do…I said, "love them and realize that you can only do so much to help them…you can't stop them aging. Most importantly, just be there for them."


citygirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I've commented here before about being a bit of a drinker myself. I'm happy to report that I've been doing much better for a month now. I know it's only a month but it's a good start. I have a drink or maybe two on a Friday and/or Saturday night with dinner and that's it. I'm determined to clean my act up.

Great to hear you had a good time on your trip without lasting cravings or habits.

ChickPea said...

"Just be there for them"

....trust me, ASM, your finger is 100% on the pulse, despite your doubts about your ability to cope adequately with Life and Current Demands. Your kindness and love are beyond doubt. Of course there's The Other Side too....... there has to be. The Shadow v Light. The Emptiness v Fullness. Mourning v Laughter.

Always good to find you here, ASM. Thank You. Be You. Be Loved - even by us. x

citygirl said...

We have a movie opening here in Canada this week that makes me think of you every time I see the advertisement. It's called "A Single Man" - http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810057758/details

A Single Man said...


I read the book many years ago and chose that for my blog name as I feel very much like George sometimes, searching for meaning after the death (sic) of my partner.

Y | O | Y said...

H's sister has given you some good insight on his parents, too. Maybe they don't seem interested in H or helping more because they can't.

I used to wonder why my Mom never called me and I used to always have to call her. It really irritated me until I moved back and found out she didn't know how to use the phone!