H has been off his anti-HIV meds for over a month now. He hasn't called to find out if his viral load has gone up or not. He says, "I just don't want to think about it or know."
Conversations at our house are very quiet…I talk but I rarely get a response. H is quiet a lot these days, part of it is that he's not been feeling well and I think that part of it is that he's not home very much.
My therapist talks about how people feel lost when a spouse dies. Nice to have a name for what I've been feeling.
Went out to dinner with folks from work and some work-guests from out of town. Everyone has something interesting to talk about…books, travel, hobbies. I come home and it's, "I'm not feeling well, I need to go to bed."
Work consumes most of my time and thoughts right now. It's good fun tho'. Will get a break in August and I can use the rest. Not certain how the time at home will be for me as I'll be alone whether he's up or not.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
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Your saying, "My therapist talks about how people feel lost when a spouse dies. Nice to have a name for what I've been feeling." made me wonder. Have you ever read the book "When Bad Things Happen To Good People"? I can't recall the authors name. It was suggested to me by a doctor/family friend years ago when a lady I'd planned to marry was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease. It was written by a Jewish Rabi that lost his son to help others deal with the loss of a loved one. You and H might find it helpful.
God Bless America, God Save The Republic.
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